Valentine’s Day Date (or not)
I was going to have a date on Valentine’s Day with this person from Plenty of Fish. It was a last minute invitation and since I had nothing planned I said yes. (also, as a side note, this is one Valentine’s Day that didn’t bother me at all, I was totally indifferent to the fact that I am single)
I walked to the bar at the appointed time imagining he was not there as he said he was running late. I looked through the glass windows when I got there and didn’t see him there.
I didn’t want to walk into this bar alone because I always had a weird feeling about it. (I did agree to meet him there since I thought it would be a good excuse for me to try this bar and perhaps erase the feeling I have about it)
I had texted a couple of times saying that I was going to wait for him at the door and then saying that I was outside by the door. Later I called and he didn’t pick up. Finally 20 minutes later when I texted that I was going to walk home, since he apparently had stood me up, he texts me that he is inside the bar.
As I am reading the text and not sure what to think, he walks out and without saying hello rudely says: you can’t walk into a bar? I was floored, shocked, at not only what he said, but how rudely he said it and I said: No I can’t!
He turns his back to me and walks back inside, I turn around and start walking home. For a second I felt I was in a movie or something other than real life.
“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”
― Edmund Burke
I was shocked and confused at first, wondering why a guy would travel 1 hour to come and meet me and then have this kind of behavior. But immediately I am strangely at peace and not even annoyed. I know in my heart I just dodged a bullet.
“No one is more insufferable than he who lacks basic courtesy.”
― Bryant McGill
As I walk the 2 blocks home I am thanking my guardian angels and my lucky stars for protecting me and preventing me from meeting a person that clearly it is not good for me!
Perhaps I should have walked into the bar, but what kind of man, ignores texts and phone calls and then is that rude? Not the man that I deserve that is for sure!
I really do feel blessed and consider situations like this a blessing and not a curse!
“Blessings sometimes show up in unrecognizable disguises. ”
― Janette Oke
****
Montreal is calling
Well, my new friend D. from Montreal (the one I mentioned in my previous post) sent me another email. He asked me if I had plans of seeing him again.
I replied: “Plans to meet again? is the ball on my court? I guess we need to talk about that.”
He enjoyed the “ball on my court” comment (English is not his first language so I am assuming he had never heard of that expression before) and said that we need to plan it.
I would like to see him again as I had a great time with him but more as a friend and not anything romantic. I have a feeling he desires romance, and I desire friendship.
So I am just not sure what will happen here. Stay tuned!
****
“Moving on is easy. It’s staying moved on that’s trickier.”
― Katerina Stoykova Klemer
Ex doesn’t play dead.
It is hard to be honest about this, but what is the point of having a blog about my life if I am not going to be completely honest? On Valentine’s Day I was hoping to hear from Ex.
I know for sure I don’t want to be back with him. I know that he wouldn’t be good for me. Not that getting back together is even an option. He has already been living with someone since we broke up.
There is this part of me that still wants him to think of me. Why do I still crave those morsels of attention? I guess because I have such a hard time forgetting about him I am wishing he feels the same.
But what is the point? I know better!
Then in the afternoon, there comes his text: “Happy Valentine’s Day! Love” After my heart skipped a beat and I felt happy for a millisecond I was immediately mad at him for playing with my feelings.
Why does he do that to me? My last communication with him was around Thanksgiving when I asked him to pretend I was dead. He thinks he never did anything wrong and that we are still friends (according to him his only mistake was not having the time to be the man that I wanted him to be).
He must know it hurts me… and it does hurt me! This is all about power!
I didn’t reply, it took all I got not to. But what is the point? To say thank you would make him think that I welcome his communication. To again ask him to stop clearly won’t make a difference, so to ignore it seems the best course of action.
I am, however, stronger, than I ever been, clear on what I want and don’t want. He is definitely not in my plans in any capacity. I don’t see these moments of longing and thinking of him as setbacks, I see it as part of the path, as tests of strength and with each I become stronger.
“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” ― Steve Maraboli
On another note his mother is moving from another state to live with him (and with his girlfriend).
I have a great relationship with his mother and will not break up with her because he broke up with me. She calls me often and wants me to go visit the day she moves in. I said I will meet her any place else but I will not go to a house that I was forced to move out from.
I made his house a home. I made everything about the house and the yard better. I was proud to have cleaned up and organized it and put my mark in it. I cannot imagine going through the house and not seeing my pictures on the wall. I cannot imagine seeing the signs of another woman where I should be.
But the number one reason I don’t want to go there is C, the dog. I want to see him and hug him so much. I want to take him for a walk and play with him in the yard. But I am choosing to just hold on to the memories. I think that if he sees me he will think I am back to stay, I cannot do that to him or to me.
“Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.”
― Haruki Murakami
nataliescarberry said:
Walking away was a good choice! The Lord made it clear that this man was not for you. Blessings, Natalie 🙂
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A Star on the Forehead said:
That is exactly what I thought! I am a lucky girl! Many blessings to you too! 🙂
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QueridaJ said:
Good for you! I admire how you stayed strong and realized that it was him not you =)
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Many thanks for the kind words. It is awesome to realize hidden blessings in all situations! 🙂
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Tienny said:
Glad for the peace in you 😀
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you! Lately I have been finding peace in chaos and it is an amazing feeling! Many blessings to you! 🙂
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Tienny said:
Also wish you many blessings as well
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A Star on the Forehead said:
🙂
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minimalistlifestyle said:
Ah yes, the wonderful world of POF(Plenty of FREAKS). been there, done that. No more:) Good luck with all of that. Everything happens for a reason:)
http://www.minimalistlifestyle.wordpress.com
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A Star on the Forehead said:
The waters are murky and muddy some times, but still I have been having a lot and have met some great guys. I am not going to let one or two rotten apples keep me away. Perhaps I am a glutton for punishment! lol
Thank you and many blessings! 🙂
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Maggie Wilson said:
Thanks for the like way over on my blog today. I’ve read this post and several phrases catch my eye: divorce, Plenty of Fish, “dodged a bullet, and Montreal. From one Canadian twice divorced writer who has dodged bullets a-plenty, please consider yourself folllowed!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Awesome! I love your word play – perfect! Thank you for following! Many blessings! 🙂
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Essence of Del said:
You walked away without giving it a second thought, Bravo!! I wish more women could feel so empowered. I look forward to hearing more as you “navigate through this life”.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you! I did feel very empowered at that moment and it would be amazing if every woman could feel that and realize they don’t have to put up with anything and anybody. I love your energy! Many blessings! 🙂
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BroadBlogs said:
Life offers us lots of opportunities, big and small, to learn more about ourselves and grow. Good choice to walk.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you! You are right, every second is a new opportunity; we just need to see it and use it! Many blessings! 🙂
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Dalo 2013 said:
Walking away was a great choice…and great writing in the post, so much going on in your life.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Lately when in doubt I just walk away – it works for me. Thank you for the kind words! Blessings! 🙂
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4mygodsglory said:
I love this post, and have enjoyed many of your inspiring quotes! Very lovely blog; I look forward to reading more. God bless and keep you!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you for reading and come back any time. Many blessings to you too! 🙂
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Pink Ninjabi said:
Hugs to you Wonder Woman. I’m in awe that you can walk away from those who no longer deserve you, and walk into a life that serves you better. I hope you always keep up that grit. And I LoVe your quotes, totally posted them on my FB. Hugssss…
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Pink
Thank you for the much needed hugs and sending some back to you!
We are both getting stronger and being better able to turn away from things that are not good for us! 🙂 Always progressing… always blessed! 🙂
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Pink Ninjabi said:
Thank you! Yes! It’s not easy, lonely at times to stand on my own two feet, to really understand what I want and not be afraid of living my life the way I really want it to be.. its tough.. I cut back on friends that weren’t where I want to be in life… I mean, I’m still there if they need me, but I’m not gonna babysit them anymore.. I deleted them off my phone, and well, surprise, they haven’t texted me to check on how I am.. sad but… but gotta make room for things that matter most… my care.. 😀
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A Star on the Forehead said:
in the moments of loneliness is when we discover what we are made of and how strong we are.
I continue to find out that there are some people that don’t matter, present or not in our lives it is the same thing, so why deal with them? so I don’t!
I love that you are making room and welcoming new and better things in your life!
There is no stopping you now girl!! Blessings! 🙂
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Pink Ninjabi said:
Thank you soo much. 😀 Yes, and what was good to see, are those who do come around (after say, three weeks of me not texting them, having my friend actually text me to see how I am), was nice! But I still will continue to mind my business of taking care of myself, and letting others do the same! As much as I can…
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Well said, lately I have been realizing that some things are better left unsaid and that taking care of myself should be the number 1 priority! I am glad to see how amazing you are becoming! Blessings! 🙂
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Pink Ninjabi said:
Hugsss… hope you enjoyed the movie! And your reminder is a good one, there are many things that are better left unsaid.. thank you… 😀
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A Star on the Forehead said:
So many movies to watch, so little time! 🙂
For me it is always a struggle to leave things unsaid, but I am realizing its benefit.
Many blessings! 🙂
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Dee's Dating Diary said:
He definitely wasn’t worth your time!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Agreed! 🙂 He is probably not worth anybody’s time! Thank you and a blessed week to you!
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utesmile said:
I just realised that I had missed many of your posts and read them backwards now to keep up with you. I have been so extremely busy with work not even time for men….. 🙂 but that will change again as I need to live more again. Just work is not healthy, so I am taking more control over it.
Take care my friend!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Ute, I understand your dilemma and I too have been looking for more balance in my life. An equal amount of work and play is a good thing!! Thank you for reading! I am not the best either at keeping up with my online friends so I definitely understand it.
I just posted an update on that guy and I gotta to finish my bags! Blessings! 🙂
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Mia Love said:
I just found your blog! Okay you had me worried for a moment with those crazy few in a row or something and i probably didn’t read them in the right chronology either so I hope this is in context too!
Reading this post reminds me that I have a heart of glass and when I saw this I watched in slow motion as it broke into a thousand pieces!
You are shining like a diamond here and it brings a tear to my eye and I will continue to read what you have written. I can clearly see you are the apple of God’s Eye! Bless you
I thank Him for His love and thank you for your love in sharing.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you for finding me!
Thank you so much for the amazing words!
Please rest assured that I always come out better and stronger on the other side.
You are a kind, sensitive and beautiful soul – I can tell!
Always grateful and blessed for readers like you.
Thank you and many blessings to you! 🤗🌼
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