“Sleep, those little slices of death — how I loathe them.”
― Edgar Allan Poe
There is this strange phenomenon that happens in my apartment every night at around 10/11pm: I start telling myself I should be getting into the shower and getting myself ready to bed; and at the same time I start coming up with many things to do before getting to bed.
It took me awhile to realize I am practicing avoidance. I am avoiding going to bed. I start watching some show, reading a book, playing a game, paying bills, organizing my purse, making lists of things to do, etc, anything that keeps me from getting to bed.
“Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
Even when going out in the evening and coming in late, many people go straight to bed barely managing to take off the make up or brushing their teeth. No me! I have to watch some tv or read or play a card game on the computer to unwind. And then there is the shower, make up to remove, teeth to be brushed, and on and on and on.
Once I am able to talk myself into getting into the shower to get ready to bed, it will take me at least another 30 minutes to get into bed. It takes me longer to get ready for bed than to get ready to work in the morning.
I think I would be a great subject for a psychiatrist. Why do I avoid getting in bed? Once I am in bed I fall sleep right away (which is very different from a year ago when I couldn’t sleep a whole night. Thank God, melatonin eventually helped that)
WHY AM I DOING THAT?
1. Do I still miss Ex in my bed and that is why I don’t want to get into an empty bed? Perhaps… but I don’t really think I miss him anymore. I miss a warm body next to me, somewhere to lay my head and feel safe.
2. Do I think that I will be missing something? Since I live alone there are no housemates to be throwing a party while I am asleep.
3. Do I feel my day was not productive enough and I am trying to fit a few more things in? Very possible. I get home from work full of ideas, by the time 10pm rolls around I realize I have not accomplished all I intended to do. I really dislike the feeling of leaving things unfinished.
4. Do I hate myself and am I punishing myself by depriving myself of sleep?
5. Do I just lose track of time and there is no really big secret or big explanation about it?
By the time I am finally getting into bed I am not very pleased with myself and I am full of promises to go to bed at a reasonable time the following evening. And the next evening I am singing the same tune again.
Why am I sabotaging my health? I know how important sleep is! Then why?
Perhaps is the ADD or ADHD showing one of its many faces. Could this be a symptom? Since I touched about it in this post: https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/2012/07/01/why-run/ I really didn’t do anything about it.
I am not sure what you will take for me to get to bed on time. Realizing I have a problem and need to change is the first step. So you all are witnessing my taking the first step! Now what?
Blessed with a Star on the Forehead 
Absolutely LOVE this post! And here I thought I was the only one.. hahaha
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No, we are both crazy in that way and many others! lol
A blessed week to you! 🙂
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worry not! so many of us are in the same boat and I am same-same..
cheers
Vishal
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Hi Vishal, I think we should be concerned about getting enough sleep. A blessed week to you! 🙂
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I find so much to do from midnight onwards that sometimes it’s 5 or later when I go to bed, then I’m up again around 8, not having a job isn’t the reason for this as I’ve always been the same. I used to have a job that suited my life style, working from 11:45 until 21:00 8 days a fortnight and 09:00 until 17:00 every other Saturday. I miss those days, but things happen for a reason
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Indeed they happen for a year…I definitely find going to bed late very easy, but I don’t think I would be able to stay the whole night awake. The latest I have been up is 4 and then the next day I am not myself!
A blessed week to you! 🙂
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Thank you so much, hope you enjoy your week too, with enough sleep to keep going
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Thank you! More peaceful sleep to us all! 🙂
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Get to bed! hahahahaha
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Make me!!!
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That’s funny, because if have the same pattern! So same to you, but more of it!
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Great minds think and behave alike! Many blessings my busy friend! 🙂
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I have no advice for you seeing as it is 1:18 am here and I am suffering the same problem 🙂
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As I am finding out I am definitely not alone in this! Are we nation deprived of sleep?
A blessed week to you! 🙂
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love the blog! i followed you 🙂
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oh, that is so kind and makes me smile! thank you and many blessings to you! 🙂
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As a teenager I avoided the bedtimes, but now being “old-er” I am so tired in the evening I collapse into bed. I totally love my bed and love the big space and freedom I have alone. Saw this quote: ” I love my relationship with my bed: no commitment needed, we just sleep together every night”- perfect!
Probably you need to make your bed more comfy or change your bedroom , that you really love going in and spend time in bed!
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Let me see what I need to make my bedroom more appealing to me : 1) a handsome and caring man, 2) chocolate. Not at the same time, perhaps at the same time! lol
Thank you for the idea, perhaps my bedroom need a makeover. A blessed week to you! 🙂
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I could do with no 1. 🙂 I just had a bedroom makeover…got rid of all things which reminded me of ex and it is bliss ? I can only recommend it. It is all my choice, pictures, bedding, furniture, (IKEA) and I love it.
( and my George Clooney calendar, I know sad, but I like him).
I am just having to put the curtains up and my room is totally finished. Have a think…it is good for the soul, the mind, and feels free!
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Great for you! You deserve a comfy and welcoming bedroom.
The great thing for me is that my Ex has never entered this bedroom. I left his house and bought this apartment. It is cozy and inviting, but I guess not enough. After 1 year in this apartment an update is probably a great idea. I love IKEA, I haven’t been to one in probably 20 years.
Congrats on your room! Enjoy it! 🙂
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Boy, can I ever relate to this one. Thank you for sharing it so that some of us know we’re not alone. I was told (by a professional) that it’s my need to remain in control that keeps me from going to sleep. When I’m asleep, I’m not in control. My name is Lori, and yes, I’m a control freak. Heh. Thanks for the post.
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Hi Lori, I think you hit the nail on the head!! That makes so much sense to me. I am such a control freak and hadn’t realize that it was even affecting my sleep. Now on to finding ideas on how to make it better 🙂
A blessed week to you! 🙂
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I love my bed LOL I like going to sleep… but like you, I’ll try to stay for as long as possible first. The reason is simple – I work damn hard and I don’t like feeling as though I can’t get any “me” time in the evening… so I’ll stay up for as long as possible… otherwise I’ll simply feel as though all I do is work and sleep and work and sleep LOL
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Hello my friend, That is another great point! We do spend too many hours at work! I do have do say that lately I am not working that hard, well not compared to years ago. You have to have time to have fun and play and blog! Many blessings to you!
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Reblogged this on Eighteen times better and commented:
now I know I’m the only one who thinks like this at night haha
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I thought i was the only one with this problem. At the worst point i had stopped sleeping at all. It would go like that for two days maybe then I’ll fall asleep coz i’m tired. Now i can force myself to go to bed around 1am. I to fall asleep within 5 mins after getting into the bed but getting there is the tough part.
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I never went a day without sleeping but have gone to bed at 4 and 5 and gotten up a couple of hours later. Like you I fall sleep right way, which they say is a sign of sleep deprivation.
Many blessings to you and lets aim to get to bed before midnight! 🙂
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I do the same. I hate to see the day end. But then, I enjoy my sleep.
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As I am finding out I am definitely not alone in this! 🙂
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I put off going to bed also. I just hate giving up so many hours to sleep when I could be accomplishing something.
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My same thought, but then the next morning I realize I am not 100% because of lack of sleep. Many blessings to you and hopefully we will find our way to our beds sooner. Many blessings! 🙂
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Amen!
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My pennys worth..set two alarms..one for getting ready for bed, the second one for lights out..it works like your conscience.. xxx
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oh, what a great idea! I will definitely start doing it tonight!! Why didn’t I think of that before? after all, I already set alarms to do housework and French lessons.
Many blessings to you and thank you so much for the awesome idea! 🙂
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Hi! I nominated you for the Sunshine Award. Please go to http://gettingridofboredom.wordpress.com/2013/06/22/my-ray-of-sunshine/ to get more info. Hope you accept it. 🙂
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Hi there! Thank you so much for this ray of sunshine! It is very much appreciated and it makes me smile! Many blessings! 🙂
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I do the same thing. Almost every night, unless I simply have to get up early, then I usually can’t sleep well.
Perhaps, it would be better with someone to be there with you. That could make you want to go to bed. A lot of times, in my case, I didn’t want the fighting and arguing and “uncomfortableness” of being in bed with my wife…So, not having someone there should make that easier? It doesn’t.
I think it is just my left-over OCD rearing its head and me going through the pattern of getting a certain amount of things done in less time. That’s me, anyway.
I also don’t sleep well, so there is no big impetus to go there.
I need to do it anyway, and I am trying.
Scott
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Hi Scott
OCD probably has something to do with it, but I am sure there are other things at work here.
Having somebody in my bed would make it easier for me to go there (even though I do remember being asked why I wouldn’t get to bed already lol
I guess at the end of the day the onus is on us to make sure we get enough sleep be it on an empty bed or not.
Keep on trying! Blessings! 🙂
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I totally agree when you say ‘it’s easier to stay awake till 6 am then waking at 6 am’…I am so much able to relate to your post here as I am pretty much the same realy 🙂 thanks for sharing dear
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Hi Kavita. Unfortunately even after many good tips I received I continue to avoid my bed at bedtime, but I am still hopeful that I will find a way to resolve this. Thank you and blessings to you! :0
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All the best dear…I know how that feels though as no matter how much I try but I also go back to my night timetable usually
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thanks, all I can do is continue to try 🙂
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yes true persistence and consistency is the key but don’t you think there might be some reason behind it and have you ever though of accepting that may be you like to stay awake in the night or something migh tbe bugging you
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Acceptance is definitely the key to many things, but in this case I need to make a change. The next day I am so exhausted I cannot be my best at work or anything else. It would be nice to get to the bottom of this, and I think someone here hit the nail on the head when she mentioned that it is probably a control thing. Many blessings! 🙂
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I can so relate to this. I’ve always been a night owl and like you, I’ve tried to really figure out why I avoid going to bed. I guess I came to your #3 conclusion. All make sense.
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Hi Gail. Besides that conclusion something that someone said made sense to me too: Control. Not wanting to give up control keeps me up and, in a weird way, in control. That resonated with me! A blessed week to you! 🙂
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