I texted Ex!
I know how it looks. And I actually don’t care how it looks, but how I feel.
One of the things I pride myself on is always giving a voice to my heart. I like wearing my heart on my sleeve, I like being open and transparent.
Saying what I want, when I want unburdens and empowers me.
I don’t care what he thinks either. It is not about him! It never was! It is about me and my feelings and how I act and react to them!
I am taking myself and my heart back little by little, too slow for my liking, but somethings cannot be rushed. Each little step towards freedom is important and rewarding.
I texted him to express gratitude.
I was at Windham, NY skiing (or attempting to) and I was feeling overwhelmed with the freedom of the open space and the beauty of the mountain. I was also feeling good about my progress skiing.
Right then and there I felt an enormous sense of gratitude for the person that introduced me to skiing: Ex
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This is what I wrote:
“I want you to know that no matter how much hurt I still have in my heart I will be eternally grateful for the many things you have taught me including and especially skiing. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
I know that many may think I am opening a door for him to waltz back in, but that is not the case at all. I am opening a door to the healing of my heart.
I don’t expect a reply, that was no the point of sending the text.
He does reply in the form of an email the following day, saying I should be proud of being a Brazilian skier.
and that was it!
I have decided to look at my relationship with Ex, as a whole, with all its beauty during and not so beautiful ending. The relationship was not the ending alone, I cannot only think about how it ended and dwell on it. I cannot also only think about the beautiful time and have this unreal view of it.
I don’t regret sending it the text the same way I don’t regret the relationship. IN fact I would be willing to do it all over again!
I think that my reaching out to him is my way of making peace with my past. I cannot hate Ex, that would be like hating my past, and I love my past. I don’t want to be in the past, I want to be fully in the present and embrace the amazing future that awaits. I want to continue to grow and become better and better. But my past is me, and I embrace it, love it and I am making peace with it!
It felt so freeing being the one that reached out instead of being in the receiving end! It made me feel in control. I am making things happen and not waiting for them to happen to me and just react to it!
So, thank you Ex, for skiing and other things! Thank you for my lovely memories!
Blessed with a Star on the Forehead 
Sounds like you’re in a great place. No matter how hurt we’ve been in relationships, it shows true strength and grace to focus on the positives you got from it.
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Hi. I can safely say that I am in a great place at this moment and it feels great! Thank you so much for your kind words! Blessings! 🙂
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Well done!
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Thank you! Blessings! 🙂
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sounds wise that you can understand the good and the growth are separate from the fact that the relationship ran its course.
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Slowly but surely I am being able to look back with a grateful heart for having had the experience instead of focusing on the pain of the break up! Many blessings for a wonderful 2013 to you! 🙂
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When I was young, sometimes we used to get a big bellyache from eating the green pears on our fruit trees. But they were so delicious we did it every year! Have a great 2013 yourself. Daring to love is a great risk, but such rewards too!
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hahaha I like your anecdote! it is so true how we embark on things that may hurt us in the end just because it feels good at the moment! I am a daring Aries! 🙂
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What others think about the Ex Text is irrelevant. You know what your motives are and that is all that matters.
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You are exactly right! Thank you for the supportive words! Many blessings!:)
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I think his reply was very gracious, and the best that could be done under the circumstances… He deserves 10 points for that; as do you… 😉
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I agree! He also added that I was a beautiful snow bunny! lol
I think that we are both in a good place right now! Blessings to you! 🙂
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You seem to be in the good direction. I do agree with your text. Have a peaceful evening.
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I feel I am! I am indeed hoping for a peaceful evening! You too have a peaceful and blessed evening and an amazing 2013! 🙂
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i agree with what Strange Tipster said. also, when it comes to healing, only God can truly heal you. and only He knows the true motives of your heart. you’re doing great! who cares about what ex or others thinks. 🙂
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Thank you! I agree with you and the great thing is I have an unshakable faith that God has a plan for me. So I will continue working hard, learning the lessons and loving as much as I can! Many blessings to you in this new year! 🙂
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Hi Ana. Glad you’re feeling free! Keep on keeping on with the now! 🙂
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Hi Frank. I am still not at your level, but slowly being more and more in the moment! Thank you for your continued support! Blessings! 🙂
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We keep on moving in the right directions. That’s how life gets better and better! Yay! 🙂
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Good for you. You sound empowered. So ski into your freedom.
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Thank you! I do feel empowered! A blessed 2013 to you! 🙂
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You too!
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Wow… nice 😀
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Thank you! A blessed day to you! 🙂
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I know exactly how you feel. It’s like you wrote how I felt. Keep going strong! You’re on the right track.
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I am glad my words resonated with you! Recovering from heartbreak has been a hard sinuous road, but so rewarding! Many blessings to you in this New Year! 🙂
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It really sounds like you are clear in your heart and on the road to healing! Skiiing is so great – I can understand how inspired you felt.
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Thank you! I do feel I am in a good spot right now!! A blessed 2013 to you! 🙂
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I believe in making peace as well with the past….or we won’t move on!! When you mentioned the overwhelming feeling of freedom and beauty and wanting to just be grateful……..I put myself in your place and felt it at the exact moment…….I have experienced this before………and it FEELS SOOO GOOOOOD!!!!!! Have a great day!!!
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Indeed it was such an amazing feeling that I had to voice it!!
I am glad that you have felt it too! A blessed 2013 to you! 🙂
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Congratulations! This is such an inspiring post to not hate our past, but to accept it, deal with it, and to move on. It hurts more to have regrets =)
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Thank you so much! Accepting is definitely the key word here! A blessed day to you! 🙂
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To me, whether you text or not is irrelevant. What’s wonderful is that you understand and accept the good/wonderful things that were there, in the relationship with a man who hurt you, and that you accept that denying it/them is a denial of you and your past.
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Thank you! You put it so well when you say that denying my past is denying me! Many blessings to a wonderful 2013 to you! 🙂
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Always do what is best for you !! You can forgive but never forget. I forgave my ex that stabbed me 21 times and wrote him a letter while he was in prison telling him so. I think that is what really started my healing and allowed me to move on and have a successful career for 16 years instead of crawling in a dark place.
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WOW. I take my hat off to you! That is true forgiveness! I am glad that you have moved on and didn’t allow that to define you! A blessed 2013 to you!
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I love the words “taking my heart back a little piece at a time.” You should be just so proud of yourself. All that matters is how well you’re adjusting to moving on, living in the present and acknowledging a past with its good and bad. I wish you so much happiness, I hope it touches you in droves this year.
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Thank you so much for your kind words and best wishes! Little by little I am getting there! Many blessings to you to a wonderful 2013! 🙂
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I totally understand, you’re normal. And well, I’ve done the same, so I totally get it. Great post! I’m sure many can identify!
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Thank you Pink! 🙂
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I am much better toward embracing my past, however, a very good current friend made a comment on how many stories I tell about my 2 ex-wives. That has me thinking and now with your post, perhaps, though I am so much better, I still need to keep tabs on how I am living with my past.
Thanks,
Scott
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I was thinking about last week also. I constantly mention Ex. I guess it is just because he is part of some of my best memories. I expect as I make news one that will no longer be the case ( I hope)! 🙂 Have a blessed weekend!
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I agree.
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