Tags
chemistry, Dating, e-harmony, Empire State, first date, gentleman, pedicab
I would say that my first e-Harmony date went pretty well. Everything close to perfect. It would have been perfect if I had liked him in a romantic way.
There was no chemistry. At least on my part. Him? I can safely say he was smitten and wants to pursue a relationship.
Let me give you a summary of the date. We met in the lobby of his hotel (he is from another state). From there we took a cab to the Hurricane Club http://thehurricaneclub.com/
The place was a little louder and larger than I would have liked for a first date, but we started talking and enjoying ourselves that we just forget the loudness and largeness of the place.
The food was great. I specially enjoyed the Double-Crispy Beef. The meat is so tender it melts in your mouth. Of course I had to have dessert and even though I am not eating chocolate for now, I managed to enjoy some of the Samoan (angel food cake, coconut and caramel). Coconut is my second favorite thing in the world.
Now, ladies and gents, I have a question. Is it okay to take home the leftovers when you are on a date? I hate to waste, specially food, so there was no way I was going to leave that beef behind.
**
From there he wanted to go to a roof top bar. One would think that because I have been working in Manhattan for the past 12 years I would have a good idea of where to go – I didn’t! I managed to get lost while trying to find this one bar that I used to go to years ago. We ended up near the Empire State and he suggested we go up.
Perhaps kind of lame, but it was great!
Even though they were announcing zero visibility we could see plenty. We stopped awhile at the 86th floor observatory and from there we went all the way to 102.
There were no lines, barely anyone was going up since they said you couldn’t see anything. I think that employees just wanted to leave early or something, you could see everything. The pictures don’t do justice to the view.
After that we took a pedicab to Times Square, and then walked to Grand Central, where we said good bye and I took my train home.
He was a true gentleman, evertyhing was perfect, the conversation flowed, we have the same values and habits, but I couldn’t see myself kissing him. And that to me is a deal breaker. If I can see myself kissing this person there is no way this can go any further.
What is your test to see if a second date is warranted? Does chemistry can suddenly materialize? I don’t think so, I think is either there or not there.
He has e-mailed and I replied saying I want to be just friends. He replied again and ignored that and when on to ask me how I want to be treated.
I am glad I got the first date out of the way. It was fun playing tourist and doing things I never done before (Empire State at night and pedicab ride). I was lucky that it went so well. It got my spirits and hopes revived.
Next!!
Blessed with a Star on the Forehead 
Sounds lovely! Hope you find that chemistry you are looking for. Good question. I think it there or it’s not.
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It will find me when I least expect 🙂
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Yes!!! 😀
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Good for you for putting yourself out there! I would like to add that many a Great Love has grown from friendship, when to kiss was the furthest things from their minds… at first. Just sayin’ 😉 Best of luck to you. Gina
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You make a good point! Perhaps I am being close minded when it comes to that. I guess I want fireworks 🙂 Thank you!
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Chemestry can absolutely grow as you get to know and like someone. Sounds like you at least found a good friend!
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Yes I did, I just hope he can accept that and don’t keep pushing.
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As a long-time married woman, it’s fun to read the dating exploits of others. Hope the process goes smoothly for you. And for the record, I think it’s fine to take leftovers home on a date. Why waste good food?
Thanks for stopping by my blog. 🙂
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I am going to enjoy process! Don’t even mind kissing some frogs! And my lunch the next was yummy! 🙂
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It sounds almost like a perfect first date, lacking the chemistry, ciest la vie. It’s funny how things in our own backyard take on a different perspective in the presence of a new person in our live…..Peace Jaz
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I guess it couldn’t have been a 100% perfect right out of the gate. I am meant to enjoy my freedom awhile longer before find the one!
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Yay!!! Glad it was a good first date and you are enjoying yourself…great. Oh I love coconuts too..if you weren’t off chocolates, I would suggest bounty chocolate…chocolate filled with a good amount of coconut…but don’t mind me, keep up the good work of staying off :). Hugs!!!
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Believe me I have eaten everything that combines chocolate and coconut… got stop talking about…dying for something sweet now.
I am really enjoying myself, nothing like time and prayer to help. Thank you for the hugs ! 🙂
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I hate wasting food, take the leftovers especially when it’s good 🙂 I could agree with *crubin being married it’s nice to here your experience with dating again. I love to still date my hubby when we can slip away. A girl got to be wine and dined~
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That is right! good for you for continue to date your husband. I hope I have more stories to tell you girls – if anything you will probably be happy you are out of the dating market! 🙂
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I agree with you about chemistry, it’s either there or not!
Loving the views from the Empire State ♥
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The view was just magical! 🙂
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Fun to read. I ALWAYS take home leftovers. lol. 🙂 Sam
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It was fun! Thanks for following! 🙂
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I think you did well. Honesty is best and good food should not be wasted! Some people say chemistry grows for them over time. I’m not so sure. I wish to be open-minded, yet not give false hope or hurt anyone unnecessarily. I do believe the most beautiful women are the ones with the most genuine smiles, smiles that originate in their hearts. Frank
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Thank you! To be dating someone waiting for chemistry to appear seems too forced, the person may grown on you and you just become comfortable in the relationship – I guess some people settle for that, I don’t! We think alike, I think that most handsome men are the ones with a happy, welcoming face, with a smile, happy with the world and themselves. Also, incredibly handsome is that quality that some men have of making a girl feel rescued and taken care of (oops just realized a psychiatrist may say I am looking for a father figure-lol). Anyway, just looking for a happy guy with a rich spirit and that will make me go weak in the knees – that is all! I hope your meditation went well yesterday.(I really need to try to make more of an effort to tune the world out)
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I think it’s natural for a woman to want protection from a man. I think the “weak in the knees” attraction is what movies train us to seek. My dream is to have that kind of attraction to someone who has the same for me AND is healthy, in many ways. Many people suggest that simply making healthy friends with similar interests, without looking for a partner, can lead to finding a good partner. Maybe he/she will appear when we least expect it! ( :
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Do you ever get discouraged, thinking that it will never happen, that you will never find that one person?
That is what I am focusing on right now, pursuing my interests (tennis, skiing, French, mosaics) and hopefully meet friends along the way. In the meantime, while I wait nature take its course and I pretend not to be expecting, I figure no harm in doing e-Harmony and getting some dating practice! 🙂
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Yes, I have been discouraged. I’m hoping not so much in the future. Perhaps the discouragement led me to settle into relationships that were not best for me. Now I’m truly focused on living the best life I can, without expectations. I even try to stay out of wishful dreaming, because that can trigger disappointment and make me miss the beauty of now. Now is good! Dating practice is good, unless it leads your mind back to discouragement. Perhaps attitude is everything?
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Attitude is indeed everything! My reaction to what happens to me needs constant work. Not being impulsive and reacting, but instead reflecting on the situation and acting with a clear mind does not come easy to me.
And expectations is another big word in my vocabulary.
It is a constant struggle to try to live my life with no expectations, and I enjoy saying that I have none and just plan on enjoying life’s little surprises, but is that really true? Not really, I don’t think I am there yet.
Some days I think I am starting to walk, the next I realize I have more crawling to do before trying to stand up.
I appreciate your comments. They always shine a light on some dark spot I was missing. 🙂
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My journey seems to have included a lot of crawling, re-learning and finding deeper levels. I do feel like I’ve grown from all of the efforts to really learn about myself. Mostly learning about powerlessness and reliance on a much greater power. It sounds to me like you’re doing great! Our human condition is human indeed! ( :
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Honestly, having a very low point today. Received a comment to one of my posts (Do every men cheat) that was really hurtful to me. I am writing to feel better and now I am feeling worst, so I am considering quitting this blog thing. If I do I want you to know that you mattered. So I thank you!
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You’re welcome. I’m sorry to hear how you’re feeling. I hope that you do whatever is best for you. It’s been VERY hard for me to learn that I can’t get everyone to like me. Please do whatever you know to be right in your heart. Take and use the good that you hear and read and toss out the rest. People do and say bad things. It’s part of humanity. Let’s focus on the good! We can bring out good in others, especially the willing ones! God bless you! Frank
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I’m glad to read the date was enjoyable (at least), and wish you much success in finding your Romeo 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
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me too, otherwise it would probably have turned me off of the whole dating thing. My romeo is just kind of slow, but he will show up eventually. thank you for the support! 🙂
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Congratulations on your award! But now you also have been nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award! Good things sometimes come in droves! You are very deserving for what you share from your heart and your messages of support! Congratulations it appeared on my blog site last night!
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Thank you so much! I am overwhelmed with gratitude, for the award and for the always kind and positive words! Thank you so much for your support! 🙂
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sounds like a great guy, don’t let this one completly get away from you 🙂 As far as looks is concerned. There is a study done that states two people will always fall in love when stranded on a deserted island together 🙂
Good strategy of keeping him as a friend though.
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He is indeed a great guy and I am going to his state to visit next weekend. I never said looks, in fact, I mostly fall for the ones that are not the most attractive. To me is a question of chemistry, is either there or not there, and in this case is not there. He thinks that friendship can develop into more, but I don’t think so. Lack of options does make the unattractive more attractive! One cannot have too many friends that know how to treat a lady!! 🙂
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oh come one, I think he is absolutely right, friendship CAN develop into something more 🙂 I think its cool when you marry someone that has loved you for so many months/years 🙂
lol @ “One cannot have too many friends that know how to treat a lady” Everytime I think about this, I think about my door opening incident and my buddy’s attempt to check up on woman in danger…lol.
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Curious again, I guess I missed the episode about the door opening and …
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oh man, are you serious? its the blog that put me on the map….ummmm, I take that back. Its probably more like a puddle than a map…lol. But I remember it was the first time I nearly hit 200hits in one day…lol. Anyway, here it is. I’m telling you, its tough to be a gentleman these days with these obstacles…lol
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really? are you on the map? how do I make it there? just kidding. I am going to go read it…
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Well, I understand about the Chemistry. I am trying hard to widen my thoughts on that, but you are right, it has to be there. I am not sure that I feel it has to be there immediately, but that is a personal conviction and you have to stick with those.
I wish you lived closer; I would ask you out to meet, eat, and talk the evening away. You don’t have to have chemistry for that; we could just have fun.
Scott
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People have different experiences, to me chemistry has to be there, but still I am open to be proven wrong 🙂
It would indeed be fun to meet our fellow bloggers. Perhaps in the future when we happen to be in each other’s neighborhoods …
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That would be so exciting!
Scott
Don’t give out secrets, but how far are we now?
I am about 1 hour northeast of Indianapolis.
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