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Exes are like old clothes that no longer fits us.
You know it does not fit you. Perhaps it is old and ripped, perhaps it is too small or hopefully too large, perhaps it is a style that it will never come back again. Whatever the reason maybe, there is a reason why those articles of clothing have been put aside and rarely looked at it.
It takes space in your closet and it is a constant reminder of some other time. And every now and then, perhaps when you are about to actually donate or put it in trash, you get nostalgic and think of all the emotional attachment, how you were that on your 30th birthday, or you bought it in Thailand and therefore irreplaceable, or how you got a compliment when you were it.
Whatever the reason may be you once again put it on, only to confirm that it looks awful, feels awful, or perhaps after you use you get a rash from the cheap material. There is nothing good about it. So are you going to get rid of it or put it back in the closet to revisit it at some point?
That is exactly what I was doing with Ex. Revisiting it time and time again. Thanks Heavens and the Universe that I woke up and realize that no good can come from going back there.
The truth is deep down inside I still thought and hoped that it would work. I was willing to forget and forgive everything, thinking that love conquers all.
Love conquers all when there is love. Lust doesn’t conquer all. Lust gives you great moments, but that is it!
So glad, so relieved, so thankful that I no longer have hopes that there is a future for Ex and I. So grateful that now I can look at him and think he will be a friend (if he is lucky), but that is it!
That realization is priceless. It is a huge stumbling block being lifted from my path.
So, forget about old clothes, donate, sell, give it away. Make space for new and better clothes. You are not the same person anymore. You are better and deserve better!
Don’t get stuck in the past!! Move on!!
Are you stuck in repeating patterns? Are you stuck in the past, still refusing to give up?
billgncs said:
wise words…. I often think of it as emotional capital. We invest so much in a “bad” investment, that we feel unable to muster the love for a new investment.
Sometimes bad investments must be cut loose lest they continue to drain us. But we instead pour good love after bad, knowing there is no hope of return…. but feeling safer than if we started a new investment.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
yes, sometimes we keep hoping that that investment will payoff big and keep investing. It is hard to cut your loses and move on. It is hard to quit something that you want so bad!! Thank you for your great comments! Blessings! 🙂
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Damilare said:
so true… Love conquers all when there is love. Lust doesn’t conquer all. Lust gives you great moments, but that is it!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you I am glad that it resonated with you! Many blessings to you! 🙂
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proportionsinlife said:
OMG – I love this post. I have gone through wardrobes and wardrobes of clothes in my post-divorce weight loss journey. The metaphor is perfect. Now it’s time to do the same with the man who has occupied my heart. It’s a challenge for me – he was not just a lust partner, but also a very good friend. Your blog is amazingly helpful, even if the perspectives are every so different from my own.
Thanks for sharing.
Life is good.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
I love it that you love it! I am so glad that there was a silver lining to the divorce – the weight loss! I struggle with not making sugar my newest partner! lol I went to your blog and it is pretty great and honest and I can see myself in some posts. Keep up the winning attitude! Many blessings! 🙂
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periogborne said:
I really really love your insight
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you so much! Blessings! 🙂
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unintended27 said:
I kept my old piece of clothing in my cupboard with hope of always using it. I didn’t believe it belonged in a donation box despite all its holes and tears. However, it would strangely disappear the second i opened the door and wanted to use it. A mystery I still haven’t solved…
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A Star on the Forehead said:
humm, that is indeed a mystery, I guess you are not meant to try to use it! When the time is right it will appear! Many blessings to you! 🙂
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TomBoy said:
I love this post. Exes don’t fit, and there can be a handful of good memories, yes, but I agree with everything that I’ve got that if there is true, deep love, it can concur all.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you! Eventually someone that is perfect for us will come around and if he does not, alone is not so bad! Blessings! 🙂
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TomBoy said:
I’ve got a great girl right now. Want to keep it that way. Your post gelled what I’ve been thinking about my most recent ex. Good luck in the sea!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you! Very happy for you! My day will come! 🙂
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daniellesussingham said:
Love the line love conquers all, not lust…. So very true
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you! Lust can be good, but love is absolutely the best! 🙂 A blessed weekend to you!
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TheDreamGirlWrites said:
Brilliant!!!
So true ❤
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you! Blessings! 🙂
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Gypsy Bev said:
Great comparison. My ex certainly wouldn’t fit my lifestyle today, which is much more interesting than when I was under his control. So often we attempt to wear a relationship that no longer fits and is tattered and torn besides. Sometimes it’s difficult to realize we are worthy of a better life.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Gypsy
wow, you found a really long post from 2012 when I was still trying to get over my ex.
I stayed on that pain and on those clothes for a long time.
Now many years later I still don’t have my love life all figured out but I am happy to report that that ex has remained where he belonged: in the past.
Thank you for stopping by. Many blessings! 🙂
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The V Pub said:
Yet, sometimes old clothes come back in style. And what if you don’t wear clothes? Hmmm?
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A Star on the Forehead said:
They may, but is it really worth to keep them around in the off chance they will come back? I don’t have room for that, in my heart or in my closet 😉
Tell me, if I riffle through your blog will I find out more about you? or will I just laugh my head off?
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The V Pub said:
You raise a good point. Sometimes it’s best to purge. And my blog? Perhaps a bit of both! Just don’t raise your voice at me if you find very naughty things there.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
I am afraid to look… Mr. Tips is not shy.
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The V Pub said:
I would like to think that Mr. Tips is not frightening.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Au contraire 😉
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The V Pub said:
Ahhh, you must mean when he is in his Gene Simmons makeup.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
My vote is for au naturel, make up free Mr. Tips!
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The V Pub said:
Yes, I think that’s best as well. But, Halloween has its demands!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
then there is Christmas, and Valentine’s Day and Fourth of July, etc, He will always find an excuse to dress up.
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The V Pub said:
He tends to do poetry on Christmas. I don’t believe that he has had any Valentine’s day post, so that might happen. The fourth of july definitely has some analogs that might work for him.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
No Valentine’s Day post???!!! We will be changing that! It is time to inject some romance in Mr. Tips life!
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The V Pub said:
Ooooh. You got his attention with that. Do you suggest another makeover for him?
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