“Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost.” ― Kahlil Gibran
The last couple of months I haven’t dated as I have had no time. Now I am online again.
This one guy asked me out after we had only exchanged a couple of messages. I am okay with that as I don’t need to exchange countless emails and rather meet in person anyway.
It felt weird from the beginning as it felt more like a business exchange. We didn’t really do any chatting other than schedule to meet, but he seemed nice.
But, as it often happens with my dealings online, there was some miscommunication, things took an awkward turn and I decided not to meet him. I just have no patience for anything lately, especially what appears to be a needy insecure man that missed a big chance of keeping his mouth shut (or in this case, his fingers from typing)
and then there is PMS raging on, which makes everything take an inflated dimension.
Well, judge for yourself, here is the conversation:
|5/19/2015 6:18:52 PMHE: Are you free tonight. I can meet you somewhere if you are free|
|5/19/2015 6:32:00 PMME: sorry, I am busy with a couple of things until Thursday. I am free after that.|
|5/19/2015 6:34:52 PMHE: Okay maybe during the weekend or Monday. Do you work on memorial day?|
|5/19/2015 6:40:05 PMME: Sounds good! I am off :-)|
|5/19/2015 6:47:45 PM
HE: So I can come to the new Rochelle area and go for a drink or something to eat
|5/20/2015 7:31:45 AMME: That is awesome if you can come my way! :-)|
|5/20/2015 7:34:33 AM
HE: Sure no problem
|5/20/2015 8:40:02 AMME: Now all we need to do is choose a date :-)|
|5/20/2015 9:00:01 AM
HE: Yes we do. Let me know.
|5/20/2015 9:11:41 AMME: I thought you were going to let me know ?|
|5/20/2015 11:13:18 AM
HE: Okay no problem. I will let you know when and where
|5/20/2015 11:32:03 AMME: ok :-)|
|5/20/2015 9:41:30 PMHE: Patrias tapas bar in new Rochelle at 1 pm on Saturday|
|5/21/2015 8:18:12 AMME: Sounds good, but I have to confirm it later when I hear from a windows installer. He is coming Saturday but I am not sure what time. I will let you know if 1pm works the moment I hear back from him.
Have a great Thursday!
|5/21/2015 8:20:09 AMHE: Have a great day|
|5/22/2015 12:01:16 AM
HE: Hello A. ,
How are you. Can you let me know by tomorrow if we are going to meet up on Saturday. thank you.
|5/22/2015 6:44:58 AMME: Good morning
I am sorry I have been holding you up.
I sent the curtain guy another message and I will call him when I get to the office.
But please don’t let me hold you up any longer. If you need to plan your weekend go ahead and make other plans.
We will play by ear when I know my timing.
Have a great Friday!
|5/22/2015 6:49:36 AM
HE: I usually do not make any plans because I am a spontaneous person . okay let me know. I am flexible person.
|5/22/2015 7:10:23 AM
HE: You don’t seem to enthusiastic to see me. I think what you should have told me is on your note instead of me making alternative plans was I definitely want to see you this weekend and if possibly there is a conflict with the contractor we will make an alternative time and/or day. That’s what I would have said to you if I had the same situation.
|5/22/2015 8:32:52 AMME: what??? I am so confused.
You cannot expect people to act like you would act. For starters you have no idea all I am going through at the moment and all I was juggling to try to see you at 1 tomorrow.
|5/22/2015 8:39:28 AM
HE: Okay I appreciate that.
|5/22/2015 8:42:38 AMME: Clearly this would never work. It is very disappointing.
Wishing you the best of luck anyway.
|5/22/2015 8:49:52 AMHE: Why? I said okay. I don’t have an issue. You are too sensitive. You have to calm down. You need to smell the roses. Whether its me or someone else if you react like that you will have a hard time not only beginning a relationship but making it last. All you will be doing is dating and nothing more. You need to work on your bad reactions.|
|5/22/2015 8:54:38 AMME: thank you so much for you advice!|
|5/22/2015 8:59:29 AMHE: You can thank me but you should review your notes and reactions. This is for your own good because I would never do that to anyone the way you reacted.|
|5/22/2015 9:04:04 AMME: again I thank you very much.
Next time I will act overly enthusiastic to meet someone,
I will be clingy and needy and act all desperate.
because making a date and offering to make alternate plans is not good enough!!
I am looking for simple and easy, not pressure and paranoia
|5/22/2015 9:10:15 AM
HE: Well I am simple person and relaxed. Your immediate reaction not to meet anymore is not good .
This is the time he is supposed to be trying to be nice to me and captivate me and not tell me how to act/react. His pick-up game needs work.
I know that sometimes I can be too reactive and over-react. I constantly try to work on that (I know I have to try harder) Did I over-react in this case? Am I being defensive or just too sensitive (as he pointed out)? Looking back I was a bit sarcastic and passive-aggressive.
But why do I have to show enthusiasm about meeting him after we only exchanging a couple of messages?
I felt pressured. Not a feeling you want going on a date. I don’t think any good can come out of continuing to exchange messages with him and meeting him.
I just lacked the energy, time and inclination to deal with people that need that much attention this early in the game.
I try not to miss the lesson, but in this case I don’t even know what the lesson is :-(
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou
I did have a date last night with a nice gentleman and I am not sure how I feel about him. I realize that I am becoming over critical of people (ironic isn’t it?). Perhaps I am afraid of getting hurt so I look for reasons not to see someone again. He emailed me this morning to ask me about seeing me again. I am not sure what to reply. He lives far and I don’t like to drive. :-)
On another front I am so excited to have my new blinds installed tomorrow. They are expensive but they are thermal blackout, so they should help me save me money in the winter (my building was poorly constructed and the insulation is barely existent). I was debating if I would try ordering and installing them myself but decided against it (where is a man when you need one?) I had them made for the living room only. The bedrooms will just have curtains for now. One battle at a time!